Issues with Pornography?
In an ever-increasing dark world of sex and social media, the fall of good men and women is sad to say, the “expected.” Now, I disagree with that mentality totally, however, it is true. Pornography is not looked at as the wickedness it is, even in good, fundamental churches. There are more men and women addicted to this relatively “hidden” addiction than most would imagine. Truth of the matter is, statistically speaking, someone on the row you sat with last Sunday at church viewed something on their tvs, computers, cell phones or magazines last week involving pornography. My question, “Were you the one on the row that I’m talking about?”
Many don’t see this as “hurting anybody”, since they are the only ones looking. However, the relationship with you and your spouse CANNOT be all it could be if one or both have problems with this issue. There are many side effects (as if the direct effect is not enough, it being sin) that one should consider. Here’s the thing, many people think that their family is not aware of their addiction. In most cases, they probably ARE AWARE, yet are fearful, intimidated, embarrassed or hurt so much that they haven’t discussed it with you…YET. Fact of the matter is, in many cases, we as pastors are made aware of a spouses’ addiction many times before the addicted is approached. However, in many situations, there has been much talk about the issue with the spouse, yet the addicted “doesn’t really want to talk about it right now.” What this does show is a lack of respect and love for the spouse who is hurting. If I knew something was hurting my wife, why would I want to continue to do it? The addiction can be so strong, that one can neglect the hurt of the spouse for the pleasure for themselves. How selfish is this attitude? You cannot be “right with God” and “wrong on this issue.” No wonder our marriages can quickly move into a “wrecked condition.”
Our church staff uses an accountability system called Covenant Eyes. I ran across their blog, Breaking Free, the other day and wanted to pass the information along to you. I would encourage the addicted, as well as the family/spouse of the addicted, to subscribe. There is a lot of information that may help your situation. Obviously, I probably won’t agree with everything stated or the way it’s stated, but it’s definitely worth looking at their articles.
In any case, you don’t have to live a life addicted to pornography. There is an escape. Get help. Live a guilt-free life in this area.